Comfort
by ribbed not ripped
Summary: Takes place during Episode 37. Shinn contemplates his recent actions.


Disclaimer: Gundam Seed Destiny is the intellectual property of Mitsuo Fukuda, and Chiaki Morosawa, and they're welcome to it.

Shinn sighed in frustration as he exited from the Destiny Gundam. He had done his duty by killing two traitors, he had followed his orders, and he had returned victorious.

He balled up one of his fists. So why did he feel so miserable? Why did he feel like the bad guy?

It became apparent to him that he wasn't the only one that felt that way. As his feet hit the ground, Shinn glanced at the various Minerva mechanics that had gathered around him.

_Murderer._ The accusation was written plainly on all of their faces. He mentally sighed and walked forward. Wordlessly they relented and moved aside. But the accusation was still stamped on their faces. It followed him as he stalked out of the hanger and into the locker room

As Shinn sat down on a bench, Rey walked in, silent as usual. He quickly and efficiently stripped off his flight suit, making Shinn's motions clumsy by comparison. Shinn stopped removing his flight suit, and looked over at his blonde friend. The former glanced back at him.

"Shinn you followed your orders well. You did the right thing." Shinn nodded. Rey resumed dressing in silence and he left afterwards, leaving Shinn alone with his thoughts.

Did he do the right thing? Zala Taicho and Meyrin were dead because of him. While as of late he had had his troubles with the FAITH pilot, he did truly respect him, and he had hoped that one day it would have become a mutual respect. Well, that would never happen now.

As for Meyrin, she was one of the first friends he made when he first arrived at the PLANTs. Even though he never showed it, and he was fairly certain of that she found him to be creepy, he still cared deeply for her. And now she was dead too.

Both of them had been killed by his hand. And he had been congratulated for it. He had never thought that he have to turn his power against the very people that he had sworn to defend. Yet they were traitors, the evidence was clear, and although it had never occurred to Shinn that two seemingly loyal soldiers would've had the capacity to work for the other side.

He growled and rubbed his temples in frustration. As much as Shinn hated to admit it, he was just a lowly soldier at the very bottom of the chain of command. ZAFT intelligence could've been gathering information for months, slowly creating an airthight file of evidence. It was possible that they could've found out, and then made a run for when they realized that their cover had been blown.

But it just didn't make sense. Shinn liked to think that he had known Meyrin and Zala Taicho well enough to know that they wouldn't be traitors, but the truth was he didn't. He had been too busy being absorbed in his own problems, and revenge plots to even notice his fellow comrades.

He snorted in disgust. Disgusting that's what he was. Meyrin was his friend, and Zala Taicho was a superior officer. But he didn't know them, not as well as he should have, not as well as he could have if he had spent a little less time being moody. As a result even if he was sure of what their true allegiances were, he thought he was sure, but obviously he was wrong. But yet despite what he thought he knew, it was obvious that a lot of people knew a lot more than he did.

Chairman Dullindal would certainly know the truth of the matter. The Chairman was a good man, he kept his promises, and he was very sincere. Surely if he ordered Shinn to shoot down Zala Taicho, he would've had a very good reason for it. Surely the Chairman wouldn't have done so if he didn't have a very good reason for it. Shinn was certain that the Chairman was in earnest. But he was also sure that Zala Taicho and Meyrin were not traitors.

Shinn fell back against the bench. He didn't know what was true any more. All knew was that a man he trusted, had ordered him to shoot down two people he trusted and cared for. Everything was so chaotic and confusing, Shinn felt as if he didn't know anything anymore.

It was at that moment that Shinn Asuka, soldier of ZAFT, came to a realization. This entire war was what was wrong, it was war that was wrong. His family had died two years ago because of the war, but more importantly because he had been too weak to save them.

His new family was being torn apart by the new war. Meyrin and Zala Taicho were gone. He had failed to keep his promise to Stellar. Stellar, that wonderful girl had lost everything, even more than he had, but she still endured and retained the will to live, to fight, and try to bring the war to a close in her own way.

Shinn resolved that he would do everything in his power to end the war, but he wouldn't be able to do it alone. No matter how great his power, no matter his resolve, it was just impossible for a single person to do such a thing. To think otherwise would be stupid. Henceforth he would follow the Chairman, and his vision. With the Chairman's leadership, and his strength, and renewed resolve, added to the new and determined coalition that had sprung up to defeat Logos, Shinn knew that success and victory would eventually follow.

Shinn stood up, with a vigor that he hadn't known since his relatively carefree academy days. Smiling to himself, he finished removing his flight suit, and stowed everything away in the usual haphazard fashion. He put on his uniform, leaving the top button, as usual. He exited the locker with a new spring in his step.

As Shinn wandered the halls of the Minerva, it occurred to him—when his stomach rumbled—that he should get some food. Turning left down the hallway he began to make his way to the dining room. As he rounded the next corner he ran into Luna, who looked very dejected. She gave him a morose look. Her normally radiant blue eyes had lost their dazzle, and she seemed to be on the verge of collapsing. Shinn's newly found resolve beat her to the punch.

As Luna walked by him, indeed she barely seemed able to register his presence; Shinn Asuka, friend to Lunamaria Hawke, said two words that he hadn't uttered in the longest time.

"I'm sorry."

He paused as he heard her break down. He felt her place her small hands on his back, as tears dribbled out of her eyes. Turning around, he quickly embraced her. She didn't return his gesture. She just continued to cry as he held her in his arms.

Shinn didn't know how long they stood there, he barely registered the people shaped blobs of flesh that that walked by, giving the pair as wide of a berth as possible. Eventually, Lunamaria stopped crying, and she just stood there, slumped against Shinn. From the way she was standing and breathing, Shinn could tell that she was asleep. He decided that standing upright in the hallway was no place for Luna to get some much needed rest.

Effortlessly picking her up, he sat her down in the crook of his right arm, making sure that her head was resting against his shoulder. His left arm was left to support the bend of her knees.

He made his way to her room, careful not to upset his precious cargo. Nudging the door release with the toe of his boot, Shinn found himself plunging into Luna's unlit room. He groped along the wall, no easy feat considering what he was carrying, and found the dimmer switch. Turning it, he found the room bathed in a soft light, bright enough to illuminate the room so he could navigate, but not obtrusive enough to wake Luna, or so he hoped.

Walking over to her bed, he laid her down gently, leaving her legs hanging over the edge. He unbuttoned her uniform jacket, and removed it. Shinn walked over to her closet and took out a hanger. After hanging the jacket up, he walked over to Luna and removed her boots. Leaving them by the side of the bed, he pulled the covers over her and tucked her in. Brushing an errant lock of hair from her face, he admired her for a brief second.

He sighed, and turned to leave. He felt a slight tug at his sleeve. Looking over, Shinn noticed that Luna had taken a hold of his sleeve.

Her blue eyes looked at him imploringly. _Please don't leave._ He nodded and gave her the warmest smile he could muster. As she relinquished her grip, he walked around the room, and picked up a chair that sat near the shared computer.

He walked back to her bed, and set the chair down near the head of the bed. Taking her hand in his again he looked at her again.

_Don't worry I'll be here when you wake up._

_Thank you._

And with that, she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. Shinn thought for a moment about how Rey would disapprove of him for skipping their usual target practice session, or how Capt. Gladys would scold him for not handing in his report on time, or how his stomach hated him right now. None of that mattered. It seemed that there was more to protecting than slaying all of his enemies. He smiled again. Those things were getting pretty infectious. He now realized that his quest would be pointless if he didn't stop every once in a while to make sure his flock was still in one piece. It was fortunate that he had.

Shinn Asuka resumed his silent vigil over Lunamaria Hawke.

_Author's Notes:_

Just something I wrote up in two hours. No real reason, other than I felt like it. Please read and review.


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